I had the greatest time in downtown Gainesville last night. My friend Ashton, sister Angela and I met up with some friends and ran into some others at the Atlantic and the Top, the indie hang-outs on Main Street. I drank PBRs, gin and tonics, and had girl talk and dance time with some of my favorite people. This trip to the States has been so fantastic – to reconnect with family and friends, visit my old haunts, and have educated conversations with educated people. Last time I came home to visit, I felt little if not no desire to live in the US again. This time, I’m starting to remember what is great about the USA.
Then again, people seem to be unhappy in the US. I think a lot of it is the political/historical context, and the disappointment and bitterness that a lot of people feel about the state of the country. There seems to be a kind of globalization angst, where people feel small and powerless against the forces that influence their world. It seems to be about the same on both sides of the political spectrum, too, which is strange – you’d think someone would be getting their way. I suppose a lot of it is the economy, too, and the realization that American consumerism has set people up for dissatisfaction because luxuries that that they consider their right are out of reach.
So when will it be time to come home? It’s time to start thinking about it. I have about nine months left of service – until mid-May 2011 — and then I’ll decide what to do. Some of it will be based on opportunities, but a lot of it will depend on me and how I want to live. I don’t know how long I’ll want to live sacrificing some of the simple pleasures of US living (biking on paved roads, having a wide selection of foods, internet in the house, seeing your family and friends as often as you like, speaking in English). I know a lot of volunteers who are staring down the end of their service say it varies by the moment. Their neighbors give them a bundle of limoncillos, and they’re staying for another year. Their guagua driver hits on them, and they’re leaving. Living in a foreign country (especially a developing one) has its ups and downs, and you can feel a little bipolar in your reactions to it. But at the end of the day, there is a reason why people like wealth. It’s comfortable and pleasant. Resisting taking what’s available to me is hard, despite knowing that most of the world doesn’t have it.
Great post, chica. Hugs atcha!